Despite a gauntlet of dead-end subplots and hollow characters, Michael Bay delivers Autobots, Decepticons and a whole lot of explosions. It's guaranteed fun.
The product of grandiose Michael Bay and sentimental Stephen Spielberg, Transformers suffers from pointless plots and characters that undermine the magnitude of the bots themselves.
For those unfamiliar with the ‘80s cartoon that inspired the film, the series follows the Autobots and Decepticons, inhabitants of the distant planet Cybertron, battling over the Allspark – a cube that harnesses and creates life. In the hands of the Decepticons and their ominous leader Megatron (Hugo Weaving), the villains hope to create an army to help them conquer the world.
It seems like a cheesy and goofball concept, but that entire decade was cheesy. The film does a good job of capturing that sort of cheese and modernizing it just enough with great comedic moments spread throughout with help from the likes of Anthony Anderson, Bernie Mac, the surprising Shia LaBeouf and perhaps the highlight – Bumblebee peeing on, or “lubricating” Agent Simmons (John Turturro). Bumblebee was also modernized into a gorgeous Camaro. Well played.
Action-Comedy, Not A Comedy-Action
That said, the movie spends too much time letting the audience catch its breath in between intense action scenes. For example, the scene where Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is trying to sneak around his room with the Autobots “hiding” in the backyard felt like it went on for half an hour. Sam’s oblivious parents were great, but these moments slowed the movie to a halt.
Anthony Anderson and John Turtorro were hilarious, but sadly their characters are completely pointless; as are the young and sexy code crackers that help the US government somehow figure out the Transformers are aliens and not weapons of mass destruction.
Sentimentality of First Act Disappears in Second
Granted that these scenes were meant to give the movie heart and character, but its end result is completely contradictory to the purpose of the first half of the movie; originally, it seems to be a story about a teenager’s first car and the relationship they share. But as the movie develops, that plot is put on the backburner and lost amidst the confusion that ensues.
Had Bay stuck with that relationship, it would have gone a long way to giving the characters – both human and robotic – some sort of depth. The movie is too caught up in itself to flesh things out; as a result, Optimus’s attempt at philosophizing about the potential of the human race comes across as a gut-wrenchingly cliché. The entire cast was a poor example of artificial intelligence. The soldiers, Captain Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sergeant Epps (Tyrese Gibson) display about as much emotion as Optimus.
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots
The final battle between Optimus and Megatron wasn’t very climactic; in fact Bonecrusher gave Optimus a more excited run for his money. Star Scream could have been a bigger threat as well – though it’s good to know he’ll be back in the sequel. But one scene in particular had a lot of potential to show off the film’s visual effects: When Star Scream camouflages himself among a group of actual fighter jets and single-handedly takes them out, Bay could have stretched that out into a whole new level of choreographed fighting.
Despite all this, watching Optimus Prime transform on the big screen for the very first time was ten dollars well spent. The explosions, the fights, the demolition - it's a heck of a ride. And it was great to hear that transforming sound effect again, if only for nostalgic purposes.
