G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra Review

Sienna Miller and Channing Tatum Star in New Action Movie

Aug 7, 2009 Gareth Harding

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is more like CGI Joe than anything else. Stephen Sommers' new action movie is utter nonsense but kids will love it.

Literally anything is possible now in Hollywood. Just a few years ago the thought of sitting in front of a film version of Transformers and G.I. Joe would have been ridiculous. Not any more. The Transformers franchise, for all its shortcomings, has been a box office smash with the latest instalment Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen grossing over $800m worldwide to date (boxofficemojo.com) and all that despite some less than flattering reviews.

So Paramount Pictures are at it again with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, taking another Hasbro toy-come-cartoon from the 80’s and transforming it into a big-budget action movie. It’s a risk worth taking for Paramount, given it has the two-pronged marketing attack of appealing to children and at the same time drumming up enough intrigue from elder cinemagoers who remember the original toys and cartoon series. Regardless of what the critics say, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will make big money at the box office.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Plot Outline

The movie follows an elite underground military team code named G.I. Joe. They’re at the forefront of technological advances in spy and combat equipment and only the most dedicated of soldiers is granted a place among their ranks. Led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) the G.I. Joe’s take on their two newest recruits – Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans, of Scary Movie fame) and are pitted against the evil organisation Cobra with a corrupt arms dealer McCullen (Christopher Eccleston) at the helm. As with any self respecting action movie baddie, McCullen has world domination in his sights and when his sultry enforcer Ana (Sienna Miller) captures four highly advanced warheads from G.I. Joe’s headquarters the race is on to stop McCullen from destroying civilisation.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Doesn’t Stray Far From the Action Movie Formula

It just wouldn’t be an action film without some historic landmark being spectacularly destroyed or the US President holding crisis talks in the oval office before being told by a burley CIA official that it’s time for him to be whisked off to some underground bunker. Well G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra certainly doesn’t disappoint, in this case it’s the Eiffel Tower that has the honour of being destroyed at the hand of CGI and it’s Jonathan Pryce’s turn to be called up for Presidential duty, although with a very English sounding accent (?).

Yes G.I. Joe is a two hour long cliché, and it’s probably the most hammy film you’re likely to see in a long time, with action movie empresario Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) providing a film so effects-heavy you may as well be watching the cartoon version. However, despite wooden performances from most of the cast, there is a humour about G.I. Joe, it knows it’s not a mentally challenging movie and it doesn’t take itself in the slightest bit seriously. It’s difficult to know who to pick out from a cast so large although Christopher Eccleston’s evil McCullen is a particular highlight. Sporting a business suit and an extremely dodgy Scottish accent he plays a villain that falls somewhere between Duncan Bannatyne and Peter Capaldi.

The number of peripheral characters in G.I. Joe is so un-necessarily large and the movietravels at such a frenetic pace that it’s easy to forget about a character you haven’t seen on screen for a few minutes. The relationship between Sienna Miller’s Ana and Channing Tatum’s Duke is the main driving force behind the plot development after we find out early on that the two were connected in the past. It’s one of the few relationships that’s explored in any great detail with the rest of G.I. Joe’s supporting characters offering sub-plots that are slightly thin on the ground and not given sufficient time to develop.

Summary of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is the sort of film that you’ll find yourself laughing at throughout its 118 minute running time. It’s nauseatingly corny and afterwards you’re ears will take a good few minutes to recover from the relentless barrage of explosions but despite all the obvious comedy elements and the fact the storyline is as ridiculous as you’re ever likely to see in a film, there’s something slightly likeable about it. Maybe it’s the thought in the back of your mind that if you were a ten year old you’d probably think this movie was a masterpiece. It’s got everything that the bored adolescent needs to fill his summer holidays with. It’s for that exact reason that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will make a bucket load at the box office.

The real concern however, is the number cinema screens this movie will take up at multiplexes across the country that could and should be put to better use showing more artistic, intelligent films. Nowadays, far too many indie films struggle to gain wide distribution due to an increasing number of long-running summer blockbusters.

You do begin to wonder what children’s series studio executives will turn to next, Teletubbies The Movie? You really wouldn’t put it past them.

In the meantime fully expect to see a G.I. Joe sequel at your cinema in a couple of summers’ time.

Verdict: 3/5

Cast: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccleston, Dennis Quaid, Marlon

Wayans, Jonathan Pryce, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Byung-hun

Lee

Rating: 12A

Running time: 118 minutes

The copyright of the article G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra Review in Action Films/Thrillers is owned by Gareth Harding. Permission to republish G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra Review in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

The Premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra