Crank (2006) - Film Review
Jason Statham Cranks Up the Action in this Over-the-Top Slugfest
Sep 18, 2009
Crank may be one of the dumbest films of all time. Everything about it, from its nonsensical plot to its death-defying stunts to its impossible twists on modern medicine, is 100% absurd. And that is what makes Crank a truly entertaining action film.
Of course, Crank is not for everybody. For those who need substance in their films or who refuse to forget reality and appreciate an endless barrage of cheap thrills for the thrills they are, Crank is a loser. For those who want to watch films at the edges of their seats, hearts racing and adrenalin flowing, Crank guarantees to put them there.
Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, Crank's Writers, Create Genius from the Moronic
The plot of Crank is simple. The story focuses on perhaps the worst named protagonist in film history, hitman Chev Chelios. Chelios, played by the ever-sarcastic brute, Jason Statham (Transporter, The Italian Job, Snatch, Chaos), awakes in his apartment only to learn that he has been poisoned. The synthetic drug injected into his body, a so-called "Beijing Cocktail," inhibits Chelios' flow of adrenalin and slows his heartbeat. According to a video left by Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), a rival henchman, Chelios has less than an hour before his heart stops entirely.
The solution? According to underworld physician Doc Miles, played by Dwight Yoakam (Sling Blade, Hollywood Homicide, Bandidas), Chelios must counteract his adrenalin loss by speeding up his heartbeat in order to have any chance of staying alive. What better way to that than to carjack, race, fight, steal, fornicate, and kill his way across Los Angeles? In an effort to live long enough to get revenge on those responsible for his lethal injection, Chelios goes through a continuous stream of reckless danger and wild behavior, including parking a car on a mall escalator, having sex with his girlfriend (Amy Smart) in public, and beating, maiming, or killing someone in every other scene.
The story is kept simple, easy to follow. It allows audiences to appreciate the film's true virtue, its relentless action.
Under Neveldine and Taylor's Direction, Crank is Not Meant to be Taken Seriously
Crank is action for action's sake. From the title screen featuring early Atari video game graphics and the musical talents of Quiet Riot's "Bang Your Head," Crank is not meant to be taken seriously. Its writers and directors, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, likely intended Crank to be the movie version of a speed overdose. Audiences feel their adrenalin levels rise with Chelios', right to the character's bitter end – the only moment in the film where Chelios, falling from a helicopter a mile or so high to his death (oh wait, there's a Crank 2?) is at peace.
Including credits, Crank is only 87 minutes long. Any longer, and viewers may have had their own heart failures. Statham does what he does best as Chelios, kicking butt in his swarthy British way. Amy Smart (Strangeland, Varsity Blues, The Butterfly Effect) adds beauty and laughs to the film as Chelios' innocent, ditzy girlfriend. Yoakam and Efren Ramirez (Napoleon Dynamite, Employee of the Month, Gamer) also add to the comedic element as Chelios' compatriots. Cantillo convinces as the sadistic thug, Verona.
In short, Crank is unbelievable both in a literal sense and in its smart, edgy, heart-pounding action. Released on DVD and Blu-ray in January of 2007, the film won no Oscars, lacks depth, and has absolutely nothing important to say. However, for its intended purposes, Crank is an action masterpiece.
Its sequel, Crank: High Voltage, debuted in theaters on April 17, 2009. Its DVD and Blu-ray release was on September 8, 2009.
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